This is an excerpt from what I wrote in my journal earlier. I thought I'd open up the topic to my friends to get some other perspectives.
I'm not doing enough for myself.
I'm burning out. Everyone says that the Scripture where Jesus says to love your neighbor as yourself means that you have to love yourself too. But what if you don't? What if thinking you're supposed to love yourself just seems selfish?
I should be paying attention to myself more- my health, my weight, my studies, my appearance... everything. I'm sure, honestly, that it would translate into a happier house for my men. I mean, I'm sure if I felt better about me, I'd have more energy and willpower to keep a cleaner, more comfortable house. I'd cook more. We'd be better financially. There are so many things I'd like to change, but it all starts with feeling better about me. So where do I start?
About Me
- Valerie
- I AM... ...31. ...married to Wade who is a high school Spanish teacher, a pastor, and an auctioneer. Yes, that makes me a preacher's wife, and yes, he can talk fast. :) ...the mother of three little boys, Jackson (6), Parker (5), and Simon (1). ...a student. I decided awhile back that I don't have any interest in returning to Corporate America because it won't allow me to be the momma that I want to be. So I'm going to teach. When I am finished, I'll be certified to teach Middle Grades (5-9) Math. MY FAVORITE THINGS: Dates with Wade, Nike flip flops, Spring, music- singing/playing/listening, thrift stores, little blue cornflowers that grow on the side of the road here, opening the windows to let the breeze in, kissing my baby's little fat feet, red toenail polish, playing chase with Tucker (our English Shepherd), laughing with my boys, and Rocky Road ice cream.
Oh, Goodness, Val! I TOTALLY agree. The problem is, we are so BUSY taking care of our PEEPS that taking care of us... well, who has the time?
ReplyDeleteI have a post coming up this next week (I think on Wednesday) where I give an example of what happens when you do NOT take enough time for yourself.
I say start small. Sometimes when I look at the big picture, it is overwhelming. Take a small step, then another.
Go get your nails done (I usually opt for my toes.) Go shopping, if it is look-shopping and noting things you WANT on your christmas list (phones that take pictures and e-mail are fabulous for this...) Have a girls night.
We love our families... but sometimes, getting away is needed to recharge. When we can recharge, we have more energy to take care of them when we get back.
Valerie, I was once told to look at my self as the vehicle that carries my family around. I choose to think of myself as a sporty little thing instead of a station wagon with rust spots but I digress...
ReplyDeleteIf I am the vehicle I have a lot of responsibility to ensure that my family gets where they need to go. They need my time, my attention, and my patience. Well as I am tending to their needs I also have needs of my own. I need gas, oil changes, tire rotations, etc.
My vehicle can't run on an empty tank.
Read that again.
I can't run on an empty tank.
We must do something every day that fills our tanks back up so we can be at top peak performance for our families. In my case I get up early and take a bubble bath every morning and check my facebook on my phone while I soak in the tub. I begin the day with a tank that's full. By the end of the day my tank is beyond dry and I am often wondering why I have not done something part way through the day to fill myself back up. You might be a more fuel efficient model and might not need as much filling as I need. Or you might be a gas guzzling Suburban and you might need frequent trips to the filling station.
Either way, your car is only going to run on empty for so long before it begins to shut down. It will show signs of abuse and wear and tear. You'll get sick more often, you'll be tired all the time, you'll feel irritable and won't have the motivation or ambition to do the things you know you should be doing for the ones you love.
Make a list of ways you can get your tank filled Valerie. Some little ways and some big ways. Strive to do at least one a day. Get the boys on board. They need to help maintain the vehicle too. Post the list of ways that your tank can get filled and see if they can help you.
Thanks, y'all. These sound like wonderful ideas. I need to figure out how to get to the point where actually putting those into practice doesn't seem selfish to me. If I take any time just for me or any money out of the budget just for me, I feel like I'm a horrible, awful wife/momma. If Wade takes time/money to do things, I'm fine with it. When I want to, I just think about how much we need the money or how much I have to do around here and don't need to go off gallivanting (as Wade says). :) Gotta love that momma guilt. Ugh.
ReplyDelete